Like losing in roulette I would give it all, only to have it fall on nothing
Often what I run for leaves me stripped as I trip on a path breaking me in the aftermath
Trying to grasp at straws, gasping for air, sucked up into quicksand
I tell myself to “Quick stand” maybe no one saw
And as I rise looking where my feet have tread, following back the trail of bread
Crumbs to those thoughts, those lies that have bred within my heart
Like worms from a diet of engorging my flesh as the reaper stands ready for his harvest,
sickle in hand, watching my fickle flesh try to stand unshaken
He cackles watching my spirit breaking
You see I spent so long on my own strength
Fighting this disease, waving my fists about boxing with air
But what I missed is this
That I can’t buffet my body until I’m bowing to the Heir
You see it was pride that took me full stride towards brink
But when I got caught knee deep I couldn’t move and began to sink
Trying to discipline myself out of sin is like training a one man team and expecting to win
And I had a tournament of lies ahead that I had to face
Not knowing grace
Believing walking alone was commonplace
And I decided not to seek his face
cause I thought that with these marks I had no place
In his presence of the king
And this lie consumed me like a bacteriophage that begins to rage and devour any hope within its reach and you can preach and try to teach, or even bleach those stains away but good luck.
And like a leach it began to suck
The life blood from my being
The focus from my seeing
And I got stuck
And like a pig on a spit I felt trapped
Yeah I’ve been in that pit
And demons started dancing and rejoicing at the feast before them they would soon be enjoying
The lies they had been feeding me fattened me up and soon after bleeding me of any faith they would begin eating me
I got picked up in the beginning of my true life to begin walking in true light
Shaking off the miry clay, He used his words, calling me pure, talking of true life
With Him
And He opened my eyes that had been hypnotized by the disguise that cloaked the irises of the Prize
You see I saw a condemning master
One that said I had to master myself before I could matter
But what He told me was that “My embrace is all that matters,
Whatever chains held you back, Behold, I shatter!”
It was by His decree that I stand free
So when my heart turns to the petty and goes Tom Petty, “Freefalling!”
I am free to rise up and to answer my Life’s true calling
I was painted a picture that came direct out of scripture
Moreover, a story spoken by a voice of infinite glory
Its words are love from beginning to end and it picks me back up every time I descend into darkness
Into this world that is heartless
This story’s formed by a brush that has been drenched in His blood,
Flooding from a cross so I can count these as loss
I looked upon that scene, that holy bloodbath and all that I could scream was “Make me clean! I need a blood-bath!”
And He built me up despite my sin and its aftermath
Cause the One plus one is wholeness.
The One divided by whips and nails summed me up into holiness
And although I was fractioned and fractured
My savior was struck
Stuck to a tree and He endured
For my sake
He was pierced with stakes, and those He loved cried out, “This is a mistake!”
And the wall that was between us?
I saw it all break
And I got His spirit, the one of power to cry “Abba” in those times of weakness
Cause He tells me His power is made perfect in my meekness.
And He loves it when I seek this
He daces when I sing this
For my notes are no longer out of tune
He gave to me chords that are unbreakable
He gifted me with keys that unlock the locks that used to stop me dead in my tracks
And with these hit singles, He singled me out to shout and sing freedom
Now I am clean
I am free
Now with a sheen that can rightly reflect the light rays from the Son
And, yes, I know He’s not done
Oh, yes, you guessed, I know that I’m blessed but my heart is still messed
Up from those lies that have compromised my affection for the king
But I’ll still sing, cause He is holy who brings
Life.
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