Drowning in Discernment

Am I pretty enough?

Am I tall enough?

Is my hair the right color?

Am I skinny enough?

Are my grades good enough?

Am I good enough?

Do my parents love me enough?

Do I love my self enough?

Do I have the right clothes on?

Are my muscles big enough?

Can I run fast enough?

Can I lift enough?

Can I sing well?

Can I dance well?

Can I play sports well?

Can I play instruments well?

Do I have enough friends?

Do my friends love me enough?

Do I make them proud?

Do I make myself proud?

Am I better than others?

Am I worse than others?

Am I smarter than most?

Are my tragedies more tragic than theirs?

Are my good times better than theirs?

Do I read my Bible more than others?

Can I rattle of more Scripture than others?

Do I know more about the Bible than others?

Can I shout out more Biblical trivia than others?

Have I read more of the Bible than others?

Do I pray more than others?

Do I pray harder than others?

Does God love me enough to hear my prayers?

Have I gone on more mission trips than most?

Is my testimony better than theirs?

Can I woo the crowd more than they can?

Are my gifts and abilities better than theirs?

Does God love me more than them?

To be short and sweet, in this day and age we often find ourselves in a constant state of comparison. Whether it’s the split second skim over as that person passes by or the direct side by side contrast of our abilities and results, we continually try to affirm ourselves through others. If you don’t believe me see how many times a day you find yourself thinking about the aforementioned list. Now if I thought of that list in less than 5 minutes think about how extensive this list truly is. In this generation, with its continuous emphasis on products becoming faster, more durable, and higher quality, the accentuation of what products are the best have been translated and transposed unto our daily thought processes. It seems that I can no longer even look at a person anymore without first constructing an assessment of how they compare to me. Am I better looking? Am I smarter? Are they weaker than me? These and many more inquiries are all judgmental questions that flood my brain faster than I can blink. In a mere second I have already contrasted numerous qualities of theirs to mine without even first knowing their name. I have been accidently and subconsciously guilty of the first and most abhorred sin: pride.

You see pride at its very core is not just thinking that we are better than others nor that we are more supreme, but pride, true pride, is when begin to identify ourselves by our abilities, accomplishments, and acquaintances rather than by what we actually are. Pride itself is in my mind the worst sin because it creates an illusion that we are better than we actually are. When we start to dwell on how we compare to others then we begin to feel as if the World is our inheritance and that we are entitled to reign as kings. But is this an adequate and honest reflection of who we are? Are we truly as great as our minds have led us to believe, or have we become like the tall tale fish stories, in the sense that our egos and accomplishments have continually been overinflated? Is who we are and what were supposed to have become being revealed merely by what we have done and who we once were? Does how others look or how act brand us with a label of identity? If so, our priorities are out of line. If so, we are guilty of pride.

                If so, then our perceptions of our lives and of God’s are being strangled by our own selfish hands.

Honestly, and this may be a wakeup call for some of you, God loves us equally, even though he blesses us differently. God does not play favorites. He doesn’t love person A more so than person B because person A is taller, faster, smarter, prettier or etc. He doesn’t love person A more so than B, just because person A is walking more in tune with Christ’ footsteps or reading his Bible more.  He doesn’t love me more than you. He doesn’t love you more than me. Truth being told, it’s frivolous to compare ourselves to each other because we don’t have to perform for God. He isn’t impressed with our all A’s. He isn’t astonished by how well we sing or how curly our hair is. He isn’t taken aback by if we won homecoming queen or king, and is not flabbergasted over how tall we are. God doesn’t care how well we can write novels or how well we can catch a football.

                It’s not about what are talents are but we do with them that truly matters most.

My gifts, whatever they may be, were not given to me so I could run the Chris show. Whatever I have been fortunate enough to receive has been given to me for one purpose and one purpose only: to glorify God in all that I do. My life goals shouldn’t be to separate and achieve a higher echelon of success than others, but instead be to walk the path that God forged for me. My ambitions and aspirations shouldn’t be to compare and contrast myself to others but instead to love others. And lastly my identity should not stem from the world around me, but spring from the Life that dwells within me.

So my prayer for you as well as for myself, and the whole reason I wrote this spiel is that we begin the long and difficult process of rewiring our brains from thinking Am I’s to I am’s, from comparing ourselves to loving one another, and from living in a world of constant uncertainty to living for a God wrapped in solidity.

So I challenge you to take a dive into your own heart and distinguish from the murky waters of comparison what your gifts and abilities are actually intended for, and to stop thinking about how they compare to those possessed by the people swimming alongside of you.